merry christmas

Christmas has never been a pleasant festive to me, it is still not, and i think it'll never be. Again, I didn't have fun for this year's christmas.

I've been writing this for the whole day, still struggle on how to put this words, my head is spinning...

First, I think i had a pretty likable day on Monday, before all the bad news knocked my door. i had a great day with him, our first, and i guess now it's the last. We were both on leave, so we spent the day together. My car was in workshop, he came to fetch me, we had lunch, a movie, some walks. Then we went back to my place, got dressed up coz we got to attend the company christmas dinner. I gave him the christmas present i bought for him, he was happy. Just happy, wasn't the reaction i expected to get. Then i guess, nothing seems to be positive, I don't know.

Then, the party, sigh, the party was close to awful, there was some memorable excitements, most of the time, we were SS ourselves, the rest of it was sigh... I think it was because there was a horrific news came before the party. We had a staff meeting earlier, i didn't attend. At the meeting, 'no bonus' were announced, so everybody face looked like cibai. Some even left right after the christmas presents were given out. Those all start me another unpleasant christmas.

Nothing is getting better since then. I was working on the eve, went Karaoke the night with horrible feeling. Stay at home almost all alone on the christmas, went yam cha with my girl friends at night. My girl friends and i talked about 'it', then i decided to make things clear so that i won't regret. So that night i texted him, throw it all out, then... he replied... and it was... sigh.

I failed. Not that i didn't expect this, but how i wish this could be the last thing to happen. Sigh, i know it's silly, knowing that this is happening, everything is so expected, but how could i still can't take it? I don't know, maybe i'm not that unbreakable? I guess i've given my all, no matter what happens, i shouldn't regret, at least i've tried my best. And thankfully i have friends who had been so supportive during this period of time, they are the best, i love y'all. These two days was pretty tough for me, but i'm still here, i guess i can get thru this.

My thinking has got all messed up now, i don't even know what did i write here. Well, fuck it, take some cheerful time with the pictures taken on the christmas dinner. and then there's his face, tiu...

My favorite poeple, my gang

The fav 4

mm...

things we did to keep the night not so boring, syok sendiri

things were getting a bit outta control then

the group shot

plenty more in my facebook, if you know how to get there.
He's cute, isn't he? Well, gimme some time, wound takes time to heal, okay?

Merry christmas & happy new year