merry christmas

Christmas has never been a pleasant festive to me, it is still not, and i think it'll never be. Again, I didn't have fun for this year's christmas.

I've been writing this for the whole day, still struggle on how to put this words, my head is spinning...

First, I think i had a pretty likable day on Monday, before all the bad news knocked my door. i had a great day with him, our first, and i guess now it's the last. We were both on leave, so we spent the day together. My car was in workshop, he came to fetch me, we had lunch, a movie, some walks. Then we went back to my place, got dressed up coz we got to attend the company christmas dinner. I gave him the christmas present i bought for him, he was happy. Just happy, wasn't the reaction i expected to get. Then i guess, nothing seems to be positive, I don't know.

Then, the party, sigh, the party was close to awful, there was some memorable excitements, most of the time, we were SS ourselves, the rest of it was sigh... I think it was because there was a horrific news came before the party. We had a staff meeting earlier, i didn't attend. At the meeting, 'no bonus' were announced, so everybody face looked like cibai. Some even left right after the christmas presents were given out. Those all start me another unpleasant christmas.

Nothing is getting better since then. I was working on the eve, went Karaoke the night with horrible feeling. Stay at home almost all alone on the christmas, went yam cha with my girl friends at night. My girl friends and i talked about 'it', then i decided to make things clear so that i won't regret. So that night i texted him, throw it all out, then... he replied... and it was... sigh.

I failed. Not that i didn't expect this, but how i wish this could be the last thing to happen. Sigh, i know it's silly, knowing that this is happening, everything is so expected, but how could i still can't take it? I don't know, maybe i'm not that unbreakable? I guess i've given my all, no matter what happens, i shouldn't regret, at least i've tried my best. And thankfully i have friends who had been so supportive during this period of time, they are the best, i love y'all. These two days was pretty tough for me, but i'm still here, i guess i can get thru this.

My thinking has got all messed up now, i don't even know what did i write here. Well, fuck it, take some cheerful time with the pictures taken on the christmas dinner. and then there's his face, tiu...

My favorite poeple, my gang

The fav 4

mm...

things we did to keep the night not so boring, syok sendiri

things were getting a bit outta control then

the group shot

plenty more in my facebook, if you know how to get there.
He's cute, isn't he? Well, gimme some time, wound takes time to heal, okay?

Merry christmas & happy new year

phew...

What a day, or a week, or a month i should say.
Sigh, when i went collect my car from car park after work yesterday, i found out that my car got banged! Tiu nia sing, all out of a sudden, i have to spend extra money to fix my car. It's not that bad, but bad enough. Now i have to spend a few hundreds more when i already had spent so much this month! Sigh! After all the christmas shopping, my car insurance renewal, all the bills, now i have this. Before this, I was planning to get him a watch, now, god knows. Arghh... i wish am rich.

My company is going to have a Christmas party the coming monday, I've never got a a big one since the last time i left here, well, i had a few small in between, but not as big. This is going to be a fun one, at leaast am hoping, and it's better be. The theme for the party is 'Back to School'. It's lame, who doesn't know, but let's pray it'll turn out to be a fun 1. Of cause me and my girlfriends will dress up nicely, do expect some funny pictures!

hmm...

hmm...

Then i have the first post about him, my head is getting all occupied slowly...
He's been having a rough week, so many rare and unfortunate things happened that had made his head spinning, he's just sooo 'sui'. Looking at his gloomy frustrated face, i don't feel any better. This week has really haunted him badly, i wish this could come to an end, it kills me seeing him going through the challenges, all at a time.
For a personal reason, i'm glad i've been around him when all this happened, even if it's just a small hand helping him out during the incidents. what if those could win me something...

girls day out 1

This is suppose to be written on last Saturday.
Having a girl day out for a break away is just something that you couldn't ask for any better, especially for my fucking busy working life. I never sure if this life is the one that i or anyone else should ever go after, but in a way, life can only be lived on if you have a living to make for. Sigh, it might be a little depressing, but thinking that i'm only 1 in a million of the stereotype, and not 1 of a few who had the ability to live a fantastic life, well, why don't i just suck it and live on. People who read this might also get annoyed by my negativeness, but are you really having something better? At least i'm still happy, not most of the time, at least part of the time. Maybe i'm a easily satisfied (滿足) person.

Before all were started, we actually had a lousy night day before, but it's not what i'd like to put in words, so forget about it, after all, it was just a great day, it was so much fun. People were great, i like them a lot. There weren't a particular thing that really cheered a lot, not that i could remembered, it was the 'day'. I just had so much fun or should i say, we all had it. And even i had to be the driver that day, i think i spent about 1 and a half to send 'em all home, and i almost rounded the Klang valley, but the fun was over it.
And we did some crazy things, like this...

I think i shouldn't deny this, it has something to do with him also, ha.