merry christmas

Christmas has never been a pleasant festive to me, it is still not, and i think it'll never be. Again, I didn't have fun for this year's christmas.

I've been writing this for the whole day, still struggle on how to put this words, my head is spinning...

First, I think i had a pretty likable day on Monday, before all the bad news knocked my door. i had a great day with him, our first, and i guess now it's the last. We were both on leave, so we spent the day together. My car was in workshop, he came to fetch me, we had lunch, a movie, some walks. Then we went back to my place, got dressed up coz we got to attend the company christmas dinner. I gave him the christmas present i bought for him, he was happy. Just happy, wasn't the reaction i expected to get. Then i guess, nothing seems to be positive, I don't know.

Then, the party, sigh, the party was close to awful, there was some memorable excitements, most of the time, we were SS ourselves, the rest of it was sigh... I think it was because there was a horrific news came before the party. We had a staff meeting earlier, i didn't attend. At the meeting, 'no bonus' were announced, so everybody face looked like cibai. Some even left right after the christmas presents were given out. Those all start me another unpleasant christmas.

Nothing is getting better since then. I was working on the eve, went Karaoke the night with horrible feeling. Stay at home almost all alone on the christmas, went yam cha with my girl friends at night. My girl friends and i talked about 'it', then i decided to make things clear so that i won't regret. So that night i texted him, throw it all out, then... he replied... and it was... sigh.

I failed. Not that i didn't expect this, but how i wish this could be the last thing to happen. Sigh, i know it's silly, knowing that this is happening, everything is so expected, but how could i still can't take it? I don't know, maybe i'm not that unbreakable? I guess i've given my all, no matter what happens, i shouldn't regret, at least i've tried my best. And thankfully i have friends who had been so supportive during this period of time, they are the best, i love y'all. These two days was pretty tough for me, but i'm still here, i guess i can get thru this.

My thinking has got all messed up now, i don't even know what did i write here. Well, fuck it, take some cheerful time with the pictures taken on the christmas dinner. and then there's his face, tiu...

My favorite poeple, my gang

The fav 4

mm...

things we did to keep the night not so boring, syok sendiri

things were getting a bit outta control then

the group shot

plenty more in my facebook, if you know how to get there.
He's cute, isn't he? Well, gimme some time, wound takes time to heal, okay?

Merry christmas & happy new year

phew...

What a day, or a week, or a month i should say.
Sigh, when i went collect my car from car park after work yesterday, i found out that my car got banged! Tiu nia sing, all out of a sudden, i have to spend extra money to fix my car. It's not that bad, but bad enough. Now i have to spend a few hundreds more when i already had spent so much this month! Sigh! After all the christmas shopping, my car insurance renewal, all the bills, now i have this. Before this, I was planning to get him a watch, now, god knows. Arghh... i wish am rich.

My company is going to have a Christmas party the coming monday, I've never got a a big one since the last time i left here, well, i had a few small in between, but not as big. This is going to be a fun one, at leaast am hoping, and it's better be. The theme for the party is 'Back to School'. It's lame, who doesn't know, but let's pray it'll turn out to be a fun 1. Of cause me and my girlfriends will dress up nicely, do expect some funny pictures!

hmm...

hmm...

Then i have the first post about him, my head is getting all occupied slowly...
He's been having a rough week, so many rare and unfortunate things happened that had made his head spinning, he's just sooo 'sui'. Looking at his gloomy frustrated face, i don't feel any better. This week has really haunted him badly, i wish this could come to an end, it kills me seeing him going through the challenges, all at a time.
For a personal reason, i'm glad i've been around him when all this happened, even if it's just a small hand helping him out during the incidents. what if those could win me something...

girls day out 1

This is suppose to be written on last Saturday.
Having a girl day out for a break away is just something that you couldn't ask for any better, especially for my fucking busy working life. I never sure if this life is the one that i or anyone else should ever go after, but in a way, life can only be lived on if you have a living to make for. Sigh, it might be a little depressing, but thinking that i'm only 1 in a million of the stereotype, and not 1 of a few who had the ability to live a fantastic life, well, why don't i just suck it and live on. People who read this might also get annoyed by my negativeness, but are you really having something better? At least i'm still happy, not most of the time, at least part of the time. Maybe i'm a easily satisfied (滿足) person.

Before all were started, we actually had a lousy night day before, but it's not what i'd like to put in words, so forget about it, after all, it was just a great day, it was so much fun. People were great, i like them a lot. There weren't a particular thing that really cheered a lot, not that i could remembered, it was the 'day'. I just had so much fun or should i say, we all had it. And even i had to be the driver that day, i think i spent about 1 and a half to send 'em all home, and i almost rounded the Klang valley, but the fun was over it.
And we did some crazy things, like this...

I think i shouldn't deny this, it has something to do with him also, ha.

half filled

This is rare happens, but i do it sometimes too. Woke up in the evening, ate a pack of instant noodle, walked out from the house, went to the nearest place to online, i'm writing this online, i'm bloging this live. Not having so much positive feeling going around, i'm feeling tired, a bit vulnerable, and half filled (am not that 'empty' empty, but yet filled). I slept for 2 hours just now, didn't sleep yesterday night, i was up watching video whole night, i couldn't sleep because i past out for the whole afternoon yesterday, i slept from 2 to 9. Yeah i didn't work yesterday, or should i say i finished work yesterday. I worked from Thursday till next day. This is not new, it happened. Like what my house mate asked, what kind of work is that, that needs you to work like that? If you asked me, i'd say that's a work giving me a living now. I didn't work overnight for fun, i think nobody does, i work for money, for a living. And in this industry, in this position, it happens.

over-dued update

Just past half a year in the new company. If you were to ask me am i happy working here in the current company? My answer is for sure. Work is tough, working hour is extremely long, but am so happy working here , well, a slight better than my last job, it was ... sigh. As usual, work has occupied so much of my time, nothing special occurred around my working life, and i pretty much don't have a life beside my working life, so i have nothing to blog.
Is this the time to think that am i going to stay at my current for some time? I give up on this question.
My twin sister has gone to taipei for a couple of months. Hope she'll come back soon.
Am still single, and so ready to mingle.
Coldplay's new album, Viva La Vida is cool, it's been playing in my itunes lately.

Always like Alanis Morissette's Ironic. Life is full of ironic, it's written so true about life, especially when this line comes in, It's meeting the man of my dream, and then meeting his beautiful wife... huh...



I have a crush on a guy lately, unfortunately... huh...

my new ink

we are on youtube

I've uploaded the wedding wishing video we did for Rachel in youtube, it's not so amazing, but we did spent some time and effort in it, of cause the major credit goes to the editor Wel, she had done a big part in producing the video, big applause to her. And of cause big wishes to our lovely, intelligent, and big Rachel, we are so happy for her, so glad that she'd found her happiness and love of life, we wish you all the best for the marriage, and living happily ever after.

getting inked

Exciting, nervous, worry. I've forgotten how it felt like the last time i did it, eeeee, kan cheong... It's gonna be this Saturday.

something sentimental...

I know the day will come, but it just came years earlier than i expected. So, i didn't really know how to react, and i did it pretty bad. I thought things have came to a situation where i shouldn't worried anymore, not now or any sooner, after all the heart warming moment happened recently. Of cause i know the problem is still there, and i know i have to take care of it. Unfortunately i'm still waiting for the right time, the right way, not that i'm not prepared, not that i don't have the guts, but at the same time they are not ready for it, or they are avoiding it. I've never wanted things turned out to be my ideal ending, and am sure is hard for them, but i really hope that there will be one day we can at least talk about it, or it would great if they could take it.
Because it's hard for me too.

Happy Moon Cake Festival.

you go, girl

Matthew Mitcham, the Australian diver who won gold the 10m platform. Mitcham has been out about his sexuality, the only man among 10,500 Olympic athletes, impressive.

Now he's a golden girl.

beside the game2

Olympic gold medalist, Rafael Nadal.

siem reap trip4

At the lasy day, we went straight to the airport after we woke up, sigh.

the airport

Posing for the last time in the airport. Oh, have i introduced my fellow trip mate?
Ladies & Gents, Skey

Tammy

Wel

and the beautiful big Ben

not to forget, eye candy day 4

Oh, that's my friend on the flight menu, the guy, no, the girl, no... erm... the girl, i mean the guy.

beside the game1

My favorite Olympian, the Japanese gold medalist, Kosuke Kitajima.

He won 2 gold medal at the Men's 100m & 200m breaststroke.

The stunning 'Water Cube'.

siem reap trip3

Pictures taken on the third day.

Packing up to move to another guesthouse.

Taking picture with the nicest guesthouse staff, wait, what was her name again?

Then we moved to 8 Rooms, that is its ad banner on a tuk-tuk, check out the site.

Pictures in the room.

The garden

Nice interior at the reception area

In a place that as sunny as Siem Reap, wearing sun glasses is a MUST.

In a place that as dusty as Siem Reap, wearing mask is MUST MUSTs.

A glamor local motorbike chic.

The War Museum

A guide on our museum visit, he was one of the Civil War victim.
He told stories about the war, weapons, and the suffering caused.

She must have done it a thousand times before.
It's a Soviet-built T-54 tank.

Anti-Aircraft gun, model: forgot.

Giant Wall-E, no, it's another tank from the war.

machine guns

M16 rifle, it's so heavy

The Cambodia Cultural Village

After the town tour, shop again...

and again...

and again.

Ladies and gentleman, the ultimate camera whores continuous shot back in the rooftop of the guest house.

pathetic...

The Pub Street

A local beer girl

Posing at the Pub Street

My angel and devil of shoulder

Swensens, the only international brand we could find here, not even McDonald or 7-eleven.

Eye candy day 3, ignore the extra.