happy new year

Happy New Year, well, even if it's nothing really that happy. I had a quite busy holiday, from Christmas to new year. I was freelancing in my ex company during the Christmas week, then i had another freelance job on the new year week. I didn't really have time to post blog, i couldn't even really feel that i entered a brand new year, i wasn't exciting at all. Well, nothing can really get me excited, i'm too cool i have to say, i'm that kinna person who don't easily get heated up. Sigh, i guess that's pathetic.
Today i had lunch in BSC Strudels, i swear to idol that i will never go to that shit no more, i had the worst service in 2008 so far, the fucking bitch was fucking rude, i don't think it was all me, my friend agreed with me too. I had a lagsana, they sent me cold 1, i asked the cibai waitress to re-heat it, she said then i have to wait for another 8 minutes... WTF! then why did she sent it to me in the first place! Chao Hai! When she sent me the second time, the side of the food was all burnt! I ordered spritzer, they sent me espresso, and it was sent to me even after i finished the burnt food! Fuck! Another waiter poured some food on to my friend when he was serving it, of cause, you think he would say sorry? The food was spoiled, they redo it, then it took forever. Ma Chao Hai! After all the dramas, i still haven't exploded yet, not until they checked on our bill, my friend saw they charged me extra for my food, i asked why, the cibai bitch said they'd changed the new price, ha, there goes my limit, i yelled at the bitch nicely, i said i wouldn't paid for the price if it wasn't written on the menu! Fucking stupid bitch. And i stared at her like i wanted to slap her cibai face, fortunately none of my fiends was being supportive to my semi-civilized action, so i felt uneasy to carry on. Sigh, bitch. I could be pretty fierce, i mean fierce but still pretty, don't fucking mess with me.

new year resolution?

Life has been getting so meaningless lately, I always have the feeling that i haven't done enough things in a day, or should i say i've been wasting time? I don't really get it, everything seems to be so path-less. I'm so clueless at my work, always stuck in the condition that i don't even know why am i in the office, messy situation, always struggle about 'okay, what should i do next?', is it the job or it's me? Thinking about leaving the job, of cause, it's like the thought i've been having in my mind right after the day i joined. Then where to go? Is that the place where i should be going? (not the rite time to mention the name of the place), still doubting about should or shouldn't i go back?!? but then, where else? I know how much i understand the line of 'the more that you wait, the more time that you waste' (remember that?), but i'm just too pathetic in decision making.
The new year is getting so close, i think something just has to be done. Setting up new year resolution? If i set something too hard to accomplish, it's pointless, but if set something easy, i don't get the glory of achievement. Well, i'm never a good planner, but at least i'm having something in my mind which i probably will try it my best.

Resolution 1: Get in shape.
Ya, i know round is a shape, but i want something looks more delicious. I've been going to gym for a year plus, i still don't really see any results on me (well, there might be a little, but no major change), what's wrong with me?!?! Am i not discipline enough? No, i forced myself to go at least 3 times a week, then what? I really have no idea, well, maybe i don't work hard enough, i think i just have to work harder, or maybe change the routine. I just wanna get rid of my tummy, it's been there for centuries. I don't hope to get the wash board shape, but at least make it flat, plz...

Resolution 2: Change job.
I'm kinna tired working in my current company, i started to work here even before Bitchy Spears gone mad (she's been mad for years), so i really need to get outta here. Here has left nothing for me to stay, except the flexible working hour, the long lunch hour, the unlimited excess of internet for me to download videos and movies, having my own room, working without boss in the office most of the time (or all the time), (therefore) having the exclusivity to sleep at working hour, day dreaming, shopping, net surfing, msn-ing, blogging, and etc. So, am i mad or what, aren't those are what every working class has been dreaming to have? Maybe i'm just mad, but i know these are so unhealthy, i feel like i'm degenerating... sigh.

Resolution 3: Make more money.
Of cause changing job could be one of the way, but i mean not only that. I may want to try out new things to get extra. Look for some other ways to earn more money, freelancing, do some business maybe.

Resolution 4: Get myself my own place.
Well, i said get myself, i meant get it by myself (or else who would?). I hope i would be able to get myself my own place in the coming year (years). Although i still don't see the possibility is big enough, but i'll try hard. I always been trying, maybe not hard enough.

Resolution 5: Meet more people.
I always have the face writing 'don't come near me!', or 'fuck off' or 'leave me alone'. I think i have the most unapproachable cibai face in the whole Singapore (well, i don't live there, but the dear place is famous with cibai faces). I never good at mingle with people, with stranger. Maybe i don't like to, or maybe i'm just bad at doing it. So, i hope i could change it, in order to have a more pleasant future in mingling.

I'm not somebody that difficult to pleased, i'm think i'm kinna simple. I don't plan for something too extraordinary, or too impossible to happen. Ya, i know impossible is nothing, but impossible is also something that has the least possibility to happen. I know something could just never happen to sudden people.

UPDATE
I didn't mean to leave you guys outta my reason of staying in this place, so sorry. I might be in the situation of desperado, but i really didn't mean that. Of cause i like you guys, in fact, those are the reason i enjoyed working here. I might not meet as much people as i work in other company, but knowing you guys is just amazing. Being around you guys is so much fun (okay, excluded those stressful expensive lunch), maybe is because every each of you is so unique and hilarious, i just like you guys. So, don't be silly, of cause you are my favorite.

headache

I've got many things going around, not work, definitely. I have to renew my car insurance, road tax, thinking of leaving my job, looking for new job, looking for hotels, thinking of what to buy for christmas presents (ewww, this is the worst), is it really so much things going around, or it's just me? Sigh, so messy.
I never really like christmas, what is it so 'suppose to be happy' actually?!?! I always don't get it, is everybody has to have the feeling of joy for the festive?! Then what is it? the trees? the lights? or what? I kinna hate buying christmas present, have to think what to buy, what people like, affordable price, it's so headache, and some more you'll never get anything you like in return (not when u have no budget to buy people nice pressie). Then what is the fun about it? Am i pathetic? I can never feel the joy of it, not even if i try really hard. Except i could get a nice sleep on the day, because it's holiday.
Or maybe i just never like things that are commonly likable. It's like, when people say how hot is David Beckham, i would say i'll rather hook with Mrs. Beckham, or how people crazy about Harry Potter, i haven't even watch the first episode of the series, i just don't do 'should' & 'must'.
I'm getting my machine tomorrow, exciting.

a month to 2008

A month left before we enter 2008. What had you done? What haven't you done? Haha, even i can't answer that. So happen that after my previous post, i saw the possibility of it happening. The feeling has been getting stronger.

boring1

I knew this is going to happen, haha, i'm not surprise at all. When was the last time I wrote a post, it was like 20 years ago?!?! Haha. It's my pattern, i always start up things passionately, then it'll fade off, losing all the way till it ends. Sad kan? Don't bother me, can't be helped.
I wasn't that busy the last few weeks, in fact, i was quite super free. I had only 2 jobs in October, of cause i couldn't believe it. Ever since i joined the company, I've been working like hell, working on all the accounts & jobs alone, or with some not so happening colleague, (almost like working alone, I didn't mean you, honey), so, you can imagine, even the toilet is running out of toilet paper is my business (well, it still is). Fortunately, i didn't waste the once in a life time chance to do something else, i had a freelance job, i compiled my portfolio (finally) the first time in 4 years (ops). I had it done yesterday and showered to my friends, then I was criticized kao kao, eww, bad she, hate her. I thought it would be quite okay, who knows, sigh...
I heard a shocking news (or secret) from a friend of mine days ago. It really shocked me. I screamed and screamed, and jump up and down, and screamed and had a few moments of coma, and screamed when i got the news, I only stopped when I found out that i wasn't alone in the office (I thought I was). It's scary, unexpected, big, surprise, and shocking. Unfortunately, i cannot tell the story, (not to everyone, hehe) the person had my word by not telling anyone that. Even worse, I actually told that to 3 person (ops)... so far. Please forgive me, honey, i didn't mean to spread it, they are so not involve in any of these, so, they are threat-less. I hope it's okay. I was so stress, when i knew that I was told the first and only, it's so stressful by keeping it alone. Some more, it's not like somebody would die after i tell to someone, so it's even more suffering. But i still have to keep, so, for those who is interested, wait for the person to come to you, I hope he/she will.